Interview with a Simon

by CrescentMelissa

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Interview with a Simon

Me: Hi Simon.

Simon: Hi Cres.

Me: Really Simon? Cres? I always thought of myself as Mommy.

Simon: Really? Because I have always thought of you as a Cres.

Me: Really? Ok. But now I'm sad.

Simon: Don't be sad Cres

Me: Why?

Simon: Because you have me.

Me: But you kind of just said I'm not Mommy to you and now I'm totally having a crisis.

Simon: You are a combo of a wife and Mommy.

Me: Is that so?

Simon: Yes. You know exactly what do to do to make me feel better. That is what mommies and wives do no?

Me: Oh Simon.

Simon: Creeeeesssssss.